“Like a shooting star flying across the room.
So fast, so far. You were gone too soon”
This tribute and appeal is an outpouring of my friend Subashini Karthik who lost her brother Advait Mani, last year. He was my brother too! Its saddening to see uncle and aunty go through life as an ordeal after having lost Adhu. However, they are being put through agony by the constant questioning apart from the various hurdles put forth by the bureaucratic system. We do understand the concern and inquisitiveness of the well-wishers. However, let us be sensitive to the trauma and pain being experienced by the bereaved family. By being put through repeated questioning by the ‘Overtly concerned ones’, the family is unable to overcome the pain of losing a loved one. Instead, they are being pulled back into the whirlpool of emotional upheaval every time the interrogation starts again!
Subashini writes –
“6 feet 1 inch of pound and Flesh, tall dark and handsome, full of life ,great sense of humor and knew how to live life king-size- this was my brother until 13th of May 2016 ,the day he met with a fatal accident that took him away from us.
Today 24th February would have been his 30th birthday but we are left here alone groping in the dark- crying, wondering ,why this happened .Questioning ourselves, questioning a greater power and still don’t find answers and maybe we would never find an answer for the rest of our lives.
An Appeal
For the people out there who want to know- what was it, how the accident happened, why it happened ,whether it was my brother’s fault or the other person’s fault, what was it the autopsy report , how much settlement the office gave, how much the insurance claims or settle for all these answers you will find but will you be able to find an answer for a Mother’s grief for a father’s void ,a sister who has lost her best friend.
For all you people out there who really want to know what he left behind, he left behind enough to take care of parents for the rest of their lives but what he also left behind are scars that can never be hidden and a pain that can never be healed and lots of memories that will continue to haunt us forever.
Before you question The Grieving parent again, think twice- because according to me: No person on this Earth is stronger than a mother who has lost a child and continues to live on because she has understood the reality of life , no person can be stronger than the father who has lost a son who has lost his best buddy and continues to exist .Yes, the new normal for my parents is to continue their existence and if you give them the space to exist peacefully I would be grateful.”
Through this blog , Subha and I would like to request all the readers ‘To be a little more sensible and sensitive towards the families who have lost their loved ones,Please!’
very sad. As a society sometimes we are extremely insensitive!
Having gone through a similar ordeal in the family, I can truly empathise and lend my voice in appealing to all the so called well wishers to stop and take a long hard look at their concern which is merely an act of being nosy, rather than being supportive. Its a time of pain and not gain – I pray god gives you all the strength to be strong here! This is not easy and take a whole lot of time and tears to stop hurting so much!
Hi Meenakshi, I am so sad to hear about your brother and hope the family keeping well. I think it’s important to respect the grieving family and the person’s memory. Sadly, many people don’t get it.